Submitted by Sue with permission to print.
Many years ago, I embarked on a journey of healing that would include psychotherapy, an abundance of self-reflection, pages upon pages of journal entries, revelations, confrontations, and tears. Initially this path was set when I struggled to leave an abusive marriage. As I began to confront the issues of the current abuse, I was forced to face the long-buried memories of an equally abusive childhood. There was nothing easy about this path to healing, but I learned so much about me and my inner strength and I felt like a new person….and in many ways I am new. Throughout this healing journey I maintained my Faith in God and frequently felt His Presence in both the highs and lows of recovering. Yet I had this niggling thought there was something left to address. When Kim’s journal/workbook “Jesus, Will You Heal Me?” was released I started the exercises with excitement. And then I read the question about what would I ask Jesus to heal? Oh my, this should be easy, right? But when I actually imagined sitting with Jesus and asking for healing, I found that I was stuck. One of the remnants of surviving the abusive childhood is that I have a panic disorder that manifests itself at inconvenient times with panic attacks. (Are there really any convenient times?) So I thought, wow no more panic attacks would be great. That’s what I will ask Jesus to heal. As I continued to work through the journal, reading the Scriptures, and praying I found that the panic attacks were not what needed to be healed, they were only a symptom --- I needed to forgive my abusers and so I began the journey with forgiveness as my focus. Each Scripture and each question took me deeper toward my goal of being able to forgive. But nope, that was still only another layer leading me to what really needs to be healed. When I got to the part where the questions addressed listening to God’s voice, I found Him whispering gently to delve deeper, to open up a long-buried fear, and to finally truly confront the pain, hurt, and sadness of what that abuse taught that little girl. The message was that she was not worthy of love, that she was never going to be good enough, and that her independence and intelligence made her unlovable. The grownup woman intellectually knows that none of these messages are true but the child within needs to be healed and now the journey can truly begin because I know what I would ask Jesus to heal, and I know that He will be with me as I work through this healing. Kim’s journal/workbook has guided me to answers as it gently leads me to a stronger and more personal relationship with God. I have no timeline in mind to finish the workbook, I only know that I will proceed with the knowledge that God I with me and that Jesus will be holding my hand. I am so grateful that Kim was called to publish this journal that asks the right questions, supports each one with Scripture, and ultimately allows us to find the path to healing.
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