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A Solution Will Crest

kimhessbooks

In December 2022, I prayed after listening to a Christian podcast. The host had prophesied about “God solutions”, which seem impossible, but they do present themselves to Christians who ask. So, I prayed, because I need a God solution.


I had been asking God again and again (and again ...) to reveal a solution that would allow me to teach part-time at a Christian tutorial, instead of other work opportunities that would not permit me to pray with students.


It finally dawned on me that I was gripping my plan, instead of fully surrendering to God's plan, which could look different than mine. So, I prayed to surrender my plan and to receive God's plan. It seemed to take a few minutes for that gripping-ness to release. Finally, I felt lighter. And, I felt content.


But, then a memory popped into my head.


My father was holding me in his arms while we were standing in the ocean. I'm not sure which beach vacation, perhaps Nags Head, Hilton Head, Whaleshead, but the water was brown and somewhat rough--nothing like the gentle blue waves of the Gulf in Florida. The trough of the waves washed at his chest, but he had to jump so that


the crest of the waves did not crash over our heads.


All I remember is complete and total fear.


I did not feel secure in the arms of my father. I kept waiting for Dad to lose his footing, a shark to bite my toes, or a wave to pull me from my father's arms. My father was 6'3" and powerful. I did not enjoy that moment with my father, which caused me to feel grief, because my father wanted me to experience something (exhilaration, his strength, his protection) with him and I rejected that gift from him. So, I prayed, asking him for forgiveness, then declaring exhilaration, strength, peace, and trust in my father.


This memory illuminated more than my lack of trust in my father, but also my lack of trust in the Father.


So, I prayed again. This time I felt my father holding me in the ocean, but with God the Father as the source of my father's strength. The waves did


not intimidate me. The brown water was simply brown. The sharks simply swam. The vastness of the ocean seemed different ... less threatening ... the waves were a part of God. (I'm having a difficult time explaining with words—perhaps Living Water?) I no longer gripped


my father's arms, but I released my grip and reached for the waves. I felt peace and trust and faith, not needing to fretfully pray, pray, pray about a solution, but to simply know that a solution will crest--one I can reach.


I felt extreme tranquility!


Isn't it amazing that three years into this healing journey, God still heals my memories?!?



My prayer for you … that you continually permit God to heal your memories, too!


(By the way, a God solution did allow me to teach part-time at the Christian tutorial. Praise the Lord!)


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